I seem to have lost the desire.
I suppose I have become content, for the first time in my life nothing seems to be disrupting me. All through my schooling I always had something or someone pushing me along in essence forcing my hand, forcing me to choose something and run with it.
I’m a smart person, I really am. I’m intuitive. And I am selfish, yes I am.
I’m intuitive to the point that I can put things back together that I didn’t pull apart.
I’m bored with my work, Seriously I am sick to death of going to work and working my service shifts, they’re horrible. I get shoved somewhere with no responsibility whatsoever, and continually see people who “think” they are smarter than I am telling me how to do a useless automaton task, I’ve done a million tomes before. I enjoy responsibility! I think it’s time for a change or something new. NEWSFLASH, just because you are older you are in no way smarter and/or better at things then me.
I have a thing with computers, well had. I think I need to reconnect with it. I seem to have found the same thing with video equipment, I want to buy a Video Camera, not a stills camera, there are far too many people who like to think they are a photographer.
What I mean is, I can pull apart my computer or yours or anyones and then put it back together without issue. I’m a good troubleshooter, I used to spend hours tinkering with systems, breaking them, and then fucking them up and then hey presto fixing it in a few motions.
I used to deliberately get “Malware” and work out how to get rid of it. on a virtual system.
I’m going to install Windows 8 and start spending my money on computery bits and pieces again, as well as grog and other things that I enjoy.
I seem to have lost myself, I’ve lost my true desires in an attempt to fit in to a part of society that I don’t. I don’t think I’m the average person who listens to pop and goes drinking to pickup.
I need to find myself again. The Sci-fi loving, geeky, intelligent, intuitive person that I was.





